Monday, October 1, 2012

Being raised by a single parent

Being Raised by a Single Parent
"I didn't understand how a man could be part of bringing a child into the world and literally desire to have no involvement", (Alark,B. 2010). This has always been an unanswerable question in my mind, I have always felt that it takes two children to make a child, so two people should support and raise the child.  According to MSNBC, "the U.S. had a 25.8 percent of children being raised by a single parent"(Armario C. 2011), which means 1 in 4 children are being raised by a single parent, who is likely working.
There are many unfortunate circumstances that come with being raised by a single parent, teenage pregnancy, emotional problems, lower academic performance, and even delinquency. In addition to these, children deal with not understanding why one parent has chose not to be a part of their lives, which can further in teen suicide, depression, and additional hardships.
Although these are unfortunate and undesirable situations there are many community resources:


American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
www.aacap.org
National Association of School Psychologists
www.nasponline.org
Divorce: A Parents’ Guide for Supporting Children
http://www.nasponline.org/resources/parenting/divorce_ho.aspx
University of New Hampshire
www.extension.unh.edu
Divorce Source
www.divorcesource.com
Child Advocate
www.childadvocate.com
The Effects of Divorce on Children and How to Cope
http://fatherhood.about.com/cs/divorceddads/a/divorcekids.htm
Appropriate Strategies for Helping Children Cope with Divorce
http://fatherhood.about.com/od/relationshipswithkids/a/Appropriate-Strat...
Legal, Financial and Emotional Aspects of Divorce
http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/maritalproblems/a/divorce_advice.htm?...
5 Ways to Help Your Kids Manage the Effects of Divorce
http://singleparents.about.com/od/parenting/tp/effects_of_divorce.htm
Recognize Effects of Divorce in Your Child
http://singleparents.about.com/od/intens. 

Here are 10 positives of being a single parent:
1. You get to make all of the decisions! As a single parent, you do not need to compromise with a partner. You get to decide what's for dinner and whether to stay in or go out. You get to decorate your home as you choose. You don't need to discuss it with anyone before you respond to your children's requests.
2. You get breaks. Although this is not true for all single parents, many single parents send their children to their other parent's house for visitation from time to time, usually on a somewhat regular basis. While they are gone, you can bask in the freedom of having your house to yourself.
3. You have an excuse when things aren't perfect. If your kids are looking extra messy when you go out one day, who cares? You are a single parent and don't have a lot of help or time to worry about perfection. The house is a mess. You are too busy as a single parent to clean up. Pizza for dinner last night and hotdogs tonight, as a single parent fancy cuisine just isn't a priority.
4. You can bond with your kids without interference. If you want to spend all evening playing with your kids, your partner can't complain that he was looking forward to quality alone time with you.
5. You will develop more confidence in yourself. As you learn to make decisions on your own and solve problems, you will develop confidence that you don't need to rely on anyone else to get you through life. If you financially support yourself and your kids, that is another boost to your self-esteem.
6. You have more control in your child rearing. Although your kids might spend time with their other parent on occasion, you are the one there day in and day out influencing them. You don't have to continually try to counteract bad parenting patterns. Your model and techniques will be what most influences your offspring.
7. Your home may be less stressful that two parent homes. Single parent homes typically have less arguing and are often less stressful than two parent homes especially for the children.
8. You don't have to care for another adult. We all know that most relationships aren't equal. As the only adult in the household, you may have to do all the childcare yourself, but at least you won't be caring for another adult. You won't have to wash their clothes or clean up their messes or baby them when they are sick.
9. Your kids will have more opportunities to develop responsibility. Although no one wants their kids to grow up before it is time, as part of a single parent family it will be easier for your kids to feel like full partners in the family as opposed to "just the kids." They will have more opportunities to contribute and grow into responsible adults.
10. You and your kids will learn resiliency. Resiliency, the ability to "bounce back" when negative things happen, is one of the most valuable skills one needs to survive in this world. Facing some of the difficulties of a single parent household, you and your children will have numerous opportunities to practice resiliency. Face difficult situations with a positive attitude and hope, and learn to look outside the box when seeking solutions. You will develop a skill that can get you through the toughest of times together!

References:http://voices.yahoo.com/being-raised-single-parent-home-11584538.html?cat=25
http://www.msnbc.msn.com
http://voices.yahoo.com/ten-advantages-being-single-parent


















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